Gynocrisy
Germany [NotS] By Gremlin I have to explain something here. But, first, people being fragile morons, I should explain something else. I'm okay wi
Archive for the NotS Category
Yielding to Harvey
GLENDALE, CA [NotS] We have to talk about something here. First, let's look at a jpeg. It's worth 30,224 bytes, and possibly a thousand words.
The Redistribution of Wealth
Anyone else getting a little tired of economic stopgap suggestions from people who can't do math? Me too. And I was reminded of that today when a gota
Television
As a rule, I don't do requests. Okay: sometimes I do; but only if I was gonna do it anyway. Not really the point. The actual point is that Hunter
News of King Stoopids
It's funny. Everyone I know refers to KingSoopers as KingStoopids; they always have. Which probably isn't a secret: in the nineties, I wrote a couple
Feminazism
Okay. Things are getting a bit out of hand. For example, if I'm not out saving handicapable puppies by supporting Hilarious Clinton, I'm reportedly so
Cameracontrol
Those who know me to any degree should know by now that I don't like cameras much; the rest of you can probably work that out for yourselves for, as n
Nontheism
Over the last ten years, I've had to write a few articles regarding theism, atheism, and theology in general. There are at least three articles about
Antisemitism
I'm not jewish. I have no intention of becoming jewish. Not because I'd mind becoming Israeli [it rarely hurts to have an extra nationality to fall ba
Polytheism
Have you heard about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He lay awake at night, wondering whether there was a Suez. The old trend seems to have resur
Politards
I try not to be political. Which is to say that I don't want to be political. I don't much care about politics—especially granting that no syste
Runnin’ Stoopid
There's so much wrong with this entire thing that I'm not entirely certain where to begin. But, to ensure that we're all on the same page [by now, you
Creatarded Timeline
Creatards like to pretend that Earth was formed in BC4004. To accommodate this newish pretension, I've worked out a timeline for the planet, based on
Without Merit
I know: I took some time off from this sort of thing; I hear about that a lot. Two reasons. First: I've got other stuff going on; NotS has ne
Catering No Longer Supplied
DENVER, COLORADO [NotS] Don't say I didn't warn you.... While we're keeping perspectives, let's look at a few other dangerous things. C
Got Brain?
Denver, Colorado [NotS] Here's something I've been meaning to rant about for some time now. I'm not sure why it took this long to write it down. Go
The End of an Era
DENVER, CO [NotS] The recession seems to be taking its toll on every business in Duhmerica. And none has been hit harder than TGIFriday's #1827 at
The Origin of NotS
Denver, Colorado [NotS] I've had people ask me, for the last few years, where exactly News of the Stoopid came from. Good question. Thinking abou
Induhpendunce Day
Denver, Colorado [NotS] The Bills are right. Bixby: 'Don't make me angry; you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.' Paxton: 'Game over, Man; game ove
404: Intelligence Not Displayed
Aurora, CO [NotS] The first time I saw a billboard advertising DirecTV, I wondered how you were supposed to pronounce the name. I assumed it was on
The Village Idiot
Denver, CO [NotS] You would think that, by now, people might have caught on to the incontrovertible fact that upsetting me leads to these articles.
Sorry About That, Chief
[NotS] Y'know...I held off as long as I could on this one. But...someone has to say it. ShoeBombs. Let's make sure we're all on the same page her
World Trade Centre Attack Declared ‘Mass Homicide’
New York, NY [NotS] I couldn't make this up. And, if I could, I'd have put it at NationalPrevaricator.com. According to some nut or other--it was
Pluto’s Design
The 'net [NotS] Pluto [noun] outermost known planet of the Solar System [Greek Pluton, god of the underworld]>--OED There are three sorts
Satellite Subscribers Only
By Jurassosaurs, reporting for NotS Somewhere in New Mexico [NotS] Ah, where to begin. Well for starters I am no longer living in New York (sadly)
It’s Polite to seem Stoopid
By Hunter Reporting for News of the Stoopid The 'net [NotS] Like most of us, you show vast room for improvement in your understanding of expressi
The Boy from The Zone
By The Host Reporting for News of the Stoopid Sydney, NS [NOTS] Host here, reporting from the front lines. This entire report I'm dedicating to o
BangBang
Des Moines, Iowa [NotS] -----Original Message----- From: Hank Henschaw Pronounced as 'Kevin Stern' [mailto:sci.fi@usa.net] Sent: Tuesday, June 06
Harbingers of the Stoopid
Hey, I've got a neat idea: the first company to not try to piss me off? I'll say something good about you in a book, okay? --News of the Stoopid [Not
JesusCrispies
gremlin.net [NotS] This is interesting. Somehow, a bunch of idiots have begun to accuse me of lashing out against them in this whole JesusCrispy t
Tenable Houses Gather No Moss
Des Moines, Iowa [NotS] Define irony: a slumlord reproaching the practises of slumlords in an article about slumlords. Ed. Good old Ed. Ed Moss
Cops and Writers
DuhMoines, Iowa [NotS] A couple of years ago, I wrote one of these things regarding the big REPORT DRUNK DRIVERS bit on those digital information t
…like no dromaeosaur has sucked before
The 'net [NotS] Here’s one I’ve been putting off for far too long. So I should probably start with the backstory... Once upon a time, this id
The Big Picture
Hollywood, California [NotS] It’s times like these that I realise exactly how dumb the majority of homosapiens really are. At the moment, one of
Notice to Vacate
DuhMoines, Iowa [NotS] Our house; that was where we used to sleep. At the time of this writing, the clock is ticking. It’s a long story. For a
Gregarions
Civilisation in General [NotS] Okay, maybe it's me, but.... Let's entertain a scenario here for a moment. It's two in the morning, and for whateve
Stoopidity of the News
gremlin.net [NotS] Anytime you try to expose a few idiots, all the rest of the Forces of Dimness jump up and complain about it. While a lot of EMa
The Progressive Community
Des Moines, Iowa [NotS] Interestingly, though I’m writing this News of the Stoopid in Des Moines, it relates to the Denver Metro Area--a town I c
Beverly Hills 12015
Westminster, Colorado [NotS] I was hoping that it wouldn’t come to this, but now it has. I’m sitting here at Perkins, in nonsmoking, waiting f
Arealism
Denver, Colorado [NotS] If I were superstitious, I might expect this third attempt at getting the point across to actually work. Then again, were
The Smokescreen
DENVER, COLORADO [NotS] Y'know, it's ironic. Everyone seems to think I'm this complete and utter bastard. Good; great; I've never really given a da
Friends in Low Places
Denver, CO [NotS] Okay, I've been threatening this one for some time now. Cowboys. In 1998. Here's why this don't make no sense... Let's set th
Hell Hath No Fury
DENVER, COLORADO [NotS] This News of the Stoopid is actually a sequel to The Logical Man is Not a Man of God. It's amazing: that particular articl
News of the Intellectually Challenged
DENVER, COLORADO [NotS] Okay, This News of the Stoopid is actually the result of a request. Sort of. Usually, I don't take requests, but I've bee
The Redlight District of Cyberspace
Denver, CO[NotS] Okay, I've been thinking about this for a while. Years, actually. But it's gotten even sillier recently, with all the new discus
Homophobia
DENVER, COLORADO [NotS] Y'know, the American language has become so far removed from English that there are now British-American dictionaries on th
The Millennium Bug
Earth [NotS] Has anyone else had enough of this particular stoopidity yet? Apparently not. Things have become worse than ever. For those who don't
The Logical Man is Not a Man of God
DENVER, COLORADO [NotS] I knew it would come to this. And now it has. Is anyone else tired of these idiots bothering the rest of us with convolute
News of the Psychotic
Denver, CO [NotS] 'Hi, I'm Val,' she said, 'I'm a vampire.' For a moment, I merely stared at her, unable to say a word. This was two years ago.