News of the Stoopid » NotSBytes

The Year We Reestablish Contact

admin — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 00:31:40 +0000

I took a year or two off from NotS. Kinda. I’ve actually been writing NotSish things back at gremlin.net, and I could probably copy most of them over here now; but I’d kinda been neglecting NewsoftheStoopid.com itself, simply because Joomla sucked.

Technically, it didn’t suck; but it was annoyingly complex, and damned near impossible to write a theme around. So I’m back to using WordPress, which is less complex, easier to write themes for, and also doesn’t suck.

There’s no real NotS in this. I just figured I should write something from this year and have it show up on the index for people seeing that things have changed yet the hell again….

Rocket Science

admin — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:44:07 +0000

Y’know…some of us can actually do rocket science. And we’re getting a little tired of hearing how everything’s not rocketscience. We know it’s not rocket science because, see, we can do rocket science and…other things are different than rocket science. So…just cut it out. Okay? Great. Thanks.

2012

admin — Thu, 21 May 2009 20:43:27 +0000

Want the numerological proof of 2012? Okay: here goes.

2+0+1+2=5; five in binary is 00000101; that can be shortened to 101, which looks like lol.

Because it’s a fucking joke.

BigBen

admin — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:01:45 +0000

Darwin first published his Theory of Evolution in 1859.

Also in 1859, the first supercomputer was activated; it was called BigBen.

Yeah: both evolutionary biology and computer sciences have marched on a bit in the last 150 years.

Colourblind

admin — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 20:44:41 +0000

Being colourblind, my sense of hearing is far greater than average. Unless I hear something grey.

Aptitude

admin — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:42:38 +0000

Even now, as an adult, I perform well beyond my agegroup. For example, my parallel parking skills are those of a guy in his nineties. Who’s legally blind. And suffers from narcolepsy.

American Idolatry

admin — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 21:03:07 +0000

American Idolatry is the most popular television show in the nation.

Good night, and have a stoopid tomorrow.

Late at Night

admin — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 20:58:12 +0000

Sometimes, late at night, I’ll lay there in bed, staring up at the stars, wondering where in hell the ceiling is.

GerbilFucking

admin — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 20:41:22 +0000

There’s nothing inherently wrong with gerbilfucking, but…be real: are you seriously gonna call it ‘in a day or so’?

Fun with Antismokers

admin — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 20:59:08 +0000

Wanna have fun with antismoking ‘tards? Easy.

Buy some smokes. Open them. Take one out, but don’t light it.
Wander around, pretending to smoke it in public.
Count the emotionally motivated imbeciles coughing themselves half to death through pure psychosomatic fragility.

Whee.