Sorry About That, Chief
Saturday, 22nd September 2001[NotS]
Y’know…I held off as long as I could on this one. But…someone has to say it.
ShoeBombs.
Let’s make sure we’re all on the same page here. On 22nd December, Richard Reid was arrested for allegedly hotfooting himself and trying to blow up an American Airlines Flight Sixty-three from Paris to Miami.
Let’s stop right there.
Are you telling me that someone got on a plane in Paris, wearing shoes, and no one noticed? We need better international security.
Now: the plane was diverted to Boston, whose chief weapons aren’t shoes, but RedSox. Reid was charged initially with ‘interfering with a crew member’. What the crew member might have become but for the interference is anyone’s guess.
Reid was indicted this morning on nine counts:
Interfering with a crew member.
See above
Interfering with another crew member
That’s when it gets serious
Attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction
A shoe
Attempted homicide
A shoe without OdourEaters
Placing explosive devices on an aircraft
From the inside?
Attempted murder
Have you ever met an American Airlines stewardess? It’s justified.
Attempted destruction of an aircraft
Missed it by that much
Using a destructive device during, and in relation to, a crime of violence.
The findings of State vs. Fishbein allow for the legal use of a destructive device during, and in relation to, a nonviolent crime.
Attempted wrecking of a mass transportation vehicle.
That’s how they brought Ralph Kramden down….
Reid is currently being held on a Suicide Watch near Boston…Just in case he might, you know, get hold of a shoe, or something.
Do I really have to rant about this one? Is anyone out there not yet utterly certain why this is so terribly, deplorably sad? I mean: I thought the boxcutter thing was stoopid. I thought the scissors after Columbine were stoopid. Am I to understand from this that footwear will no longer be allowed on commercial flights? Could that actually happen? Could it? Ever?
Wait and see.
Man I love this country. I’m really fortunate to live under the clueless control of a government which can somehow lose the planet’s most wanted terrorist, and then seriously propose solving the problem by eliminating the true aggressor: shoes.
Hey, President Junior: go for broke; make all Duhmericans pregnant too. You give this country what for, I tell you….
Of course, that’s just my opinion; and it’s probably not allowed on planes anymore….
—Gremlin
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